Day 6. I really thought this would be easy.  It's not as easy as I thought.  When I started this memoir/change this upside down world challenge I was fired up and motivated.  I was dreaming when I told myself I could do this for an entire year.  I'm not so sure anymore, and it's only been 6 days. Lol!!!

I started this thinking I would be open and honest, but truthfully I haven't really divulged many personal things about myself.  I knew from the beginning tho that this would be my biggest challenge. It is extremely hard for me to let people in.  Why is that?  Maybe, I'm afraid of how I will look or what people will think.  I'm not perfect and no one is, but I strive daily to be better then I was the day before.  Why do we care so much about what others think?  I've heard a lot of people say they don't care what others think, but I don't know if I believe that.  Their is always an exception to the rule, but deep inside, because we as humans need others, we have to care.  I guess their are different levels of caring that vary individually.  Some people care more then others.  I know that celebrities go through a lot of scrutiny.  I bet when negative things are said about them it has to hurt. I think we should implement a paparazzi free Sunday.  Anyway, I always wonder when someone goes on a reality television show and watch it later do they really absorb who they are and sometime are they disgusted or surprised?  Especially, when other people get to weigh in on their personality and behaviors.  I know that if I were to ever go on a reality show that I would really get to see myself and I am afraid of that outcome.  In the world according to Keisha people would be accepted for how they are: If a guy wants a pink mohawk and purple eye brows who am I to degrade or talk about him?  I wish we all did accept each other the good and bad.  The worse part is that everyone's opinion on what is good or what is bad are so different.  We all have the capacity to be nice, sweet, thoughtful, compassionate and understanding.  The issue is that we also have the capacity to be the opposite of those things.  I always tell people that everyone has a special gift or skill and that gift or skill can be used for positive or for negative.  Their is no doubt that when we do positive things we feel good, so why don't we strive to do this all the time?  Why aren't we understanding that sometime people have a hard day or are going through something, so we should over look the negative response we may get from that individual.  Sometime we are in a different mood and we think it's someone else who is the problem when it's really us.  So, why do we allow people to change our moods?  We can only change our mood if we allow the stimulus to effect us.  We shouldn't let this happen. I know easier said then done, but that's what this memoir is about.... Challenging ourselves to be different and to do different.

What's on my mind today is how fast time seems to be going.  It's as if we don't get enough sleep in a day.  It's as if we don't have enough hours in a day to complete things.  I feel like I spend most of my time at work, in my car, and only a very few precious minutes at home.  I love being home and relaxing.  I know plenty of people who are always on the go, but if you are a parent with children who are active you have no choice, but to be on the go.  It gets frustrating sometime, but in the end we all like to think its worth it, right?  I guess what I am getting at is when we leave this earth what type of person do we want to be remembered as?  With the limited time we have what kind of person are we that our children will model?  I am so not ready to leave this earth, but I'm also not wanting to be remembered how I am at this present day.  I work hard and have accomplished a lot, but I'm not completely satisfied yet.  I want to leave something for my children.  Mostly, I want them to be good Christian servants and I want to be a better person so they will be better people.  Which leads to our challenge.....I challenge you to be more understanding to different circumstances.  I challenge you not to allow anyone to alter your happy mood.  If someone cuts you off while driving pray for their safe journey.  If a coworker gets on your nerves, smile and pray for them to have busy work...lol.  Just don't allow anyone to steal your happy today.  I will leave you with a verse.

Proverbs 16:20
He that handles a matter wisely shall find good: and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he.


Keisha

Day 5. So, if you haven't figured it out I am a dreamer.  I am one that believes what you put out in the universe will happen.  I pray often for lots of things.  I also say thank you and ask forgiveness from God.  I am a dreamer meaning that I dream big.  I believe what you ask for (if it is the will of God) will be given to you.  I also believe that success is measured by effort.  The more effort you put into something the more successful you will become.  With that combination; dreaming big, trusting in God and hard work, how can you fail?  And even if you do fail persistence is key!  That just means I keep working towards the targeted goal until I am successful.  In a perfect  (not so upside down) world this would always turn out perfect.

What's on my mind.....we don't live in a perfect world and there are many people who will "dream kill."  I like to call them dream killers.  They tell you that your dream will never happen, that you are a dreamer and you don't live in reality.  They say that you are silly or crazy.  They say all these dream killing things that you start to question your own motive.  Usually, it's not just one dream killer telling you this, but maybe a few of them.  It can bring you down and make you feel intimidated if you allow it. Imagine back in the day when Robert Hooke asked his best friend to take a string and two cans and talk to him on one end.  His friend probably questioned his motives.  He may have even called him crazy.....and look at how the phone has evolved since then!  Now, you can call, talk, and see the other person on a telephone.  I give this example to say that there are many dream killers among us and instead of feeling defeated, excel.  Dream killers motivate me to do better.  They motivate me to want more, to be more, to be the better person.  I just smile at them and continue on my journey.  So, I appreciate dream killers, because they keep me on my toes.  I challenge you today in the quest of becoming a better person to get motivated by your dream killers.  Never give up on your dream.  I always say that I have a stadium and I may be my only fan, so I can't let myself down!!!!  If you are a dream killer (which we all are at one point or another) I challenge you to uplift someone with wild dreams and be supportive.  In life you never know what will happen.  Making fun of someone about their dream, may be the same dream that has come to fruition, and you are thanking them for later.  Today, I will leave you with a very inspirational video.

WEAR SUNSCREEN

Keisha

Day 4, Monday. I'm so tired.  Mondays are always hard for me to get back into the swing of things.  I tell people all the time that doing the right thing is harder then doing the wrong thing.  Like getting up every morning and going to work, paying bills, and being responsible seems so much harder then not doing what's right.  Sometimes, I come across people who think musicians and actors have it easy.  I can't remember yesterday let alone remember lines to a movie or 12-16 song lyrics on a CD.  Anything worth having is hard work.

What's on my mind today under the Monday fog is being appreciative.  I hear all the time that we never miss something until it's gone.  I spent today appreciating the little things:  Appreciating the yellow butterfly that flew in front of me, appreciating the smile on my children's face and how happy they seem, appreciating the quiet moment I had during a busy day, appreciating the food I had to nourish my body, appreciating my neighbor who smiled and said good morning, appreciating the wisdom I have to write, appreciating the ability to be mobile.  Today nothing was too small to be appreciated.  In a blink of any eye it could all evaporate.  I challenge you tomorrow to appreciate the air you have to breathe, and the family and friends you have that share their joy with you.  Because, we are not guaranteed the little pleasures that we don't even acknowledge as pleasures.  I will leave you with a verse today.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Day 3. In my quest of becoming a better person I realized something significant today.... I realized that I spend a lot of time thinking about past mistakes.  Too much time thinking about things I've done wrong or times I've failed at something, and wondering if those things had never happened, if I had made a different choice would my life be different?  I really think I am a positive person, but carrying this weight is negative. I realized that when I start thinking of these things they make me sad.  I feel defeated like I am a loser.  The worse part is that some of my choices have effected other people. People I love and care about.  Your choices will most likely effect the people close to you, those who you really love.  I realized today that I beat myself up about these things.  I haven't forgiven myself.  The even harder part is that someone who my choices effect didn't forgive me either.  I can't change them.  I can only work on myself.  But it doesn't help when I'm beating myself up about it, and this person who is very close to me every now and again will also remind me of this mistake.  I love this person with all my heart, but I realize I can't continue to beat myself up about it nor can I allow them too either.  I decided that I would give them distance to work this out, so I can work myself out.  Sometime in life we have to separate ourselves from the situation or from the person to really work on what we know is important.  Especially in the pursuit of becoming a better person.  One of the hardest things in life is letting go.  I know I have to let go and let God.  I know I have to learn from my mistakes, because I will continue to make mistakes and often, hopefully not the same ones.  We are human and that means that no one is perfect, so mistakes are inevitable.  Einstein said a man who never failed, never tried anything new.  Today, I'm not going to focus on my past failures. I am going to push forward to making new mistakes and learning from them.  I'm not going to beat myself up about them and I am not going to allow anyone else to continue beating me up either.  As much as I love them I will have to let them go.....my happiness means bringing others happiness and vise versa.  If I can't be happy what help can I be?  My best friend once told me that God brings people in our lives, but we get to decide who stays, who goes, and what role they play.  I challenge you today to forgive yourself for past mistakes, failures, and faults:  But mostly I challenge you to forgive someone who has hurt you, forgive them for their mistakes also.  Life is short lets spend the rest of our time on this earth appreciating all the good things we've done.  Celebrating all the accomplishments we tend to over look. Let's spend time remembering all the good things and not focusing on the bad.  I will leave you with a song today.

Mark Schultz- He Will Carry Me.

Keisha

This is day 2. I can't remember the last time I committed myself to doing anything.  I used to set goals and chase after them with a vengeance.  I'm not sure when that changed.  I guess when life tossed me around in a different direction then of my goal at some point I stopped fighting it and gave in to the path I kept ending up on.  If you've lived long enough you realize that life won't give you everything you want.  Their are so many disappointments.  You have to find pockets of happiness.

What's on my mind today has to do with why we have so much violence.  Does anyone else notice that our children are being raised in a highly violent era? From video games to movies to television.  The sad part is that we allow this to occur.  If we didn't buy those video games or purchase the television channels we wouldn't endorse this behavior.  I know people understand that continued exposure to violence will desensitize or cause a child to accept or be comfortable with violence.  This leads to aggressive behaviors.   That is scary in a time when young people are carrying guns and using them.  Part of my new initiative in writing these memoirs is the quest to change our upside down world.  If we don't nurture and teach our children the right things we automatically lose, because they will carry the torch when we can't anymore.  We have to be more aware and caring.  We can't be to busy to educate our children with love, compassion, understanding and support.  Or worse just ignore and allow these things that will negatively effect our world.  The challenge today is to show kindness  to a young person. Take a niece or nephew out to eat, buy a neighbor kid an ice cream, or simply tell your child how proud you are of them.  By showing them kindness we drown out the violence and increase the chance of them sharing that same kindness to someone else.

6 Proverbs 22:6 
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Keisha

It is September 5, 2014, a Friday.  I decided with all the ratchet “reality television” that I would write something that is real reality. Not something that is scripted and edited to convey only what I want you to believe, but the truth about what really is going on.  I hope I can convey through my memoirs what the “real” average person is going through in this world right now.  It will be very difficult for me to allow someone into my world.  A world in which I have moments of embarrassments, failures, successes, heart ache, struggles, support, and for me God, which is where my hope and faith keep me a float.  It’s 2014 and so much has transpired in the last decade that makes this world seem like it’s falling into some sort of abyss.  And maybe it’s just that every generation feels that way.  Change brings about something that causes an emotional uprising and mental confusion for most people.  It takes anyone time to adjust.  In this world right now it seems that if you can’t adjust you just get lost.  Lost could mean different things.  It’s not even a month since the death of Robin Williams.  Something very tragic that has shocked and saddened this planet, and I could go on and on forever about many things that his death brings to mind.  One of which I will discuss now since it is fresh is the pain of depression.  Every human being, nope, every living creature on this earth has thecapacity to experience and has experienced depression.  I can say this with certainty, because my belief in God who made everything gives me this assurance.  Depression left unresolved is deadly.  For some people that feeling of their worst day ever lingers on into weeks, into months, into a year can devastate a life.  Do we as a uniformed people really care about the lives of others?  Or are we just concerned with ourselves (individually).  So much is going on in the world that our focus becomes on surviving, and survival for everyone is different.  For some survival means making more money, for some it means finding food, for some it means working harder.  I believe we get so caught up in suriving that we don’t have time for the really meaningful and important things; like checking on that neighbor we haven’t seen in weeks.  Or that friend who wasn’t feeling well lately, or that teacher we saw distraught and different.  It’s a sad way of living to focus on just what is right in front of you and not what is all around you.  Maybe, I am just speaking from a limited point of view, laugh out loud (lol) my own, and is this part of life?  Is this the way we really want things to be?  Are we more concerned with correct English then understanding what is trying to be communicated?  For me, what I just said, that feeling you have right now understanding what you know to be the truth, for me it’s God filling my heart to say this.  Some time the truth is hard to digest.  These are basically the same things that a friend brought my attention to from an inmate awaiting death row by the name of Ray Jasper.  If you haven’t heard what he has to say you gatta look it up.  The internet is a wonderful source of information that has changed our world, connected our cultures, and educates us outside of the proverbial classroom.  On my first day of this memoir I started off deep.  I guess that’s just who I am.  What I always hear “Living the dream,”usually said in a sarcastic tone.  I believe that one person can change a world, and I also believe it takes a village to raise a child.  Today, I want to challenge the world to change, starting with you.  One root can give life to many branches.  Anyone, I’ve ever spoken to has the same belief that our world, our system of living is upside down and that change can be made to make things better.  If we all work together we can accomplish anything.  Our history proves this.  Everyday, I am going to challenge the world.  We have weight loss challenges all the time.  I wanted to put “all” in capital letters.  What about challenging our mental and emotional state by uniting as one and making this world a better place for our children, ourselves, and our futuregenerations?  How we cope with life is how we really survive.  If we don’t have the coping skills or the support we are doomed.  We need to be proactive instead of reactive which is our seemingly bad trend.  So, the challenge today is to work on something that would make you a better person.  Check on that friend who said they weren’t feeling well.  Work on being a nicer person.  Don’t worry about how that bill is going to get paid today, but lend some words ofinspiration to someone who lost a parent, or child, or any love one.  Help a neighbor pull weeds, go have coffee or tea with an old friend.  Talk to someone new you don’t know, help an old man or women across the street.  Give away today a piece of real humanity and show kindness or for Ray Jasper, for today show empathy…….

Keisha.  

My Book: My Last Trip To El Camino

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