Thursday, May 1, 2014
Lessons in Love for the Insecure Women.
Every woman is insecure in some way. That's because no one is perfect. Being insecure when it comes to relationships can disrupt the closeness and intimacy you long for. Our insecurities can leak into the relationship like a faulty faucet, it's irritating to our partners and leaves us looking, and feeling broken. So, here are a few pointers in keeping your insecurities under wraps.
1. Get active, because doing something you love keeps your mind occupied.
2. Never texted or call a guy 50 billion times in one night. Unless, your texting to tell him how thankful you are that he is such a great boyfriend or husband. Even than not 50 billion times. He will get tired of that and possibly you.
3. Trust what he tells you he has to do. If you can't trust him than you may need to reconsider your relationship. Trust is the seam of the relationship and without it, it will fall apart. Trust until trust is broken and even than if you are insecure ask someone of sound mind and judgment. Give the entire story. When we ladies talk to our friends sometimes we can embellish stories, or only give it from our point of view. Be open-minded to explain how your partner views things. That's only fair.
4. Know your worth and love yourself unconditionally! Everyone is blessed with different talents and skills. Someone else may seem great and intimidating with what gifts they were blessed, But you can't discount yourself and how great you are. Think of all the possibilities as more time is spent on self improvement rather than wondering what someone else is doing. The grass is always greener on the other side and your mate picked you for the special talents and skills you have. Rejoice in that. Rejoice in your difference, because you are special.
5. Remember that time away from your mate is great. Time apart gives him a chance to miss you. You are on his mind when you’re apart. It gives him a chance to appreciate you. Let him have his time, because you also need time to yourself.
6. Ask for what you want. No one is given a road map to our individuality. It is important to vocalize, and be open to change. Because chances are that you will have to compromise, and that's what a true relationship is like, choosing your battles.
7. Listen. No, don't just listen, but pay attention to what your partner tells you. Some people have a habit of hearing what they want, disregarding what was truly said. It is vital to take word for word the true meaning of what you’re listening to. Don't add anything and don't subtract, because that equation will always come out wrong. If a guy tells you he is not interested in a long-term relationship, he means it! Don’t try to change anyone or go into something thinking he will or will not change, because we can not control others. We can only control our own actions.
8. Patience is time and understanding is futile. This combination is probably the most important right behind trust. To rush a relationship is to rush at learning something new. How can you do well at anything if you rush? A relationship takes work like any other new conquest; and to get to know a new person puts this on a greater spectrum. Think about this, you learn new things about yourself every day, so truly knowing someone else takes time and this is where patients comes in and understanding that this can be a slow process. Doing this will increase your awareness of someone being right or wrong for you.
9. If patience’s is a problem than most likely so is control. When we run out of patience we want to control the situation. There is no greater expression than "let go and let God". By letting go we allow the natural process of the relationship to occur. If the relationship is meant to be then it will naturally progress in a positive way. If it's not meant to be then it will naturally progress the other way. But when we force something like a relationship it's like running into a brick wall. You can't make something not meant for you be for you. You will come out of the experience exhausted, bitter, and hurt. Rather than learning something about yourself, and what you want out of a relationships. If you truly loved the individual and things don’t work out than getting hurt is not avoidable. Just imagine the time saved in continuing a conquest that was not good for you. Learn from the experience by letting go of control.
10. Pray. Prayer is so powerful. I find that most things I pray for come to pass, but not always in the way that I imagined. You are going to need to be open-minded to the changes, because what you pray for has a process, and to get where you need to be things around you will change, even the people around you may change. Being open allows the good and bad in, because for your prayer to be answered what you think is good for you may really be the bad and removed from your life. Being open to accept that is to morn and let go. This process opens you up to great things that I call blessings! Unless your eyes, ears, and heart are able to acknowledge this, it can't be comprehended. However, prayer is powerful.