Saturday, January 24, 2015

What It Means To Be A Sinner

My heart hurts for all the mistakes I've made.  I'm sad that I feel like I've disappointed God.  That  my focus should be on him and what he wants for me, but it's on things.  I know he is here.  He's been with me all my life, but I can't hear him.  I can't get the evil out my head sometime.  I feel trapped a lot and a disappointment.  It's so hard to get back emotionally and mentally to were I'd like to be.  I want to be happy.  I need to be happy and I don't listen.  True happiness comes from God.  I wonder if what I want and what God wants is one in the same?  Sometimes I think he wants me to do what he wants.  Or maybe it's just hard to do what I know I should.  I'm so confused.  I think others get confused about God and just give up on him and sometime life.  I've seen the blessings in my life and I don't want to give up.  I want to get it right.  If I am a sinner can I ever get it right?  Right is doing what I know and feel in my soul and in my heart.  I will always make mistakes and I will never be perfect, that's what it means to be a sinner.

Romans 3:23

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Get Out the Box

We live in a fearful time.  Sometimes it feels as if someone wants us to be afraid.  Like we live in a box.  When that one person tries to think outside the box and go against the grain of normal, they are turned on.  People turn against them for being different for wanting different.  We are made different.  We all have different skills and tools which are our gifts.  Once you find out what your gift is and use become that person trying to get out the box.  For today, get out the box.  Don't be afraid to be different.

1 Peter 4:10

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Steps to Change

Steps to Change

1.  Identify what the problem is:  If you don’t know what you want to change then how can you start the process of change?

2.  Motivation:  Having the motivation to change is very important.  Some people may have to change everything to get out of there certain situations.  Are you ready to give up everything or everyone if you have to?  Are you ready to give up people who do not add positivity to your life, but influence chaos and destruction?  Once you have the motivation to make change and you are determined then you will be willing to do whatever it takes for change to occur.  

3.  A Support System:  Everyone needs someone; a positive parent, a teacher, pastor, counselor, someone who is going to positively influence you in making good choices.  If you are going to make change you need someone in your corner to help with support.  So, when you have days that you feel like giving up (you will have those days*).  Your support system can encourage you to continue on the journey, because the battle may be long, but when you win the war you have succeeded.  *Giving up in the sense that you want to resort back to old behaviors.  The behaviors you are seeking to change are easily to fall back into, because we have become so familiar with them, so when things get hard it is our natural desire to go back to what we know.

4.  A plan.  A plan is the start of every good venture.  Having a plan is having the road map to get to the change you want to occur.  The plan could be to start exercising or drawing every time you want a cigarette.  Just having a plan will help you reach your desired goal for change. 

5.  Change in perception.  Once you change your perception or thinking it will help in achieving your goal.  If you are trying to stop smoking cigarettes, for example, and you think about the relief and satisfaction smoking brings it’s going to be hard to stop.  If you change your thinking to focus on positive things and how your health will be better or how much money you will save this will continue to encourage your goal. 

6.  Focus on today.  Don’t worry about yesterday; don’t get caught up in tomorrow.  Focus on how your change can occur today, right now.  If you focus on today and what it takes to continue the process of change today then you won’t get overwhelmed.  We have negative thinking that can creep into our minds getting us off focus.  Because we slipped up yesterday, or there is going to be a party and people will be smoking tomorrow will only overwhelm us.  Focus on change today and what you can do today.  I’m not saying don’t learn from the mistake you made yesterday or be ill prepared for tomorrow.  I’m just saying today is enough problems in itself, focus on being successful in the moment.

7.  Pray.  That’s what I always end with.  For me prayer is soothing to my soul and gives me hope and faith.  When I pray I know everything will be alright, even in the midst of the most uncomfortable and hardest times in life.  When I pray I am thankful and encouraged.  I pray.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." 
[Romans 12:2] 


Saturday, January 3, 2015


He had this blank stair at me.
His eyes reminded me of the ocean.
Looking into them I could hear the waves crashing and his heart beat was like the life of me.
Barely breathing his motions controlled everything in me.
I couldn't tell him, because he would never understand.
Never let me close or never let me in....
In his world I was his friend.
In my world he was more then this.
More then love, more then sex.
He was happiness spilling over my cup.
A cup that he had given me and never knew it's true meaning.
Letting him go was not even a thought.
If I had one finger, one drop of blood,
one of his anything,
if I had to be his friend then in his world I was.
In his world I was something.
In his world I had meaning.
In his world I could live,
because a piece of his heart even if he didn't understand was what friends held,
that's better then him being my man.
I can see why these girls hold on,
changing in time becoming a women while on the sideline waiting for him to change.
I believe they do.
Good intensions he means well,
it's not his fault that I got hurt and got caught.
Because we knew from the start
and what he always says,
you knew it could never be more when we started all this.....
and you still wait,
by the sidelines hoping he'll change.