What It Means To Be A Sinner

My heart hurts for all the mistakes I've made.  I'm sad that I feel like I've disappointed God.  That  my focus should be on him and what he wants for me, but it's on things.  I know he is here.  He's been with me all my life, but I can't hear him.  I can't get the evil out my head sometime.  I feel trapped a lot and a disappointment.  It's so hard to get back emotionally and mentally to were I'd like to be.  I want to be happy.  I need to be happy and I don't listen.  True happiness comes from God.  I wonder if what I want and what God wants is one in the same?  Sometimes I think he wants me to do what he wants.  Or maybe it's just hard to do what I know I should.  I'm so confused.  I think others get confused about God and just give up on him and sometime life.  I've seen the blessings in my life and I don't want to give up.  I want to get it right.  If I am a sinner can I ever get it right?  Right is doing what I know and feel in my soul and in my heart.  I will always make mistakes and I will never be perfect, that's what it means to be a sinner.

Romans 3:23

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,