Sunday, September 7, 2014

Day 3. In my quest of becoming a better person I realized something significant today.... I realized that I spend a lot of time thinking about past mistakes.  Too much time thinking about things I've done wrong or times I've failed at something, and wondering if those things had never happened, if I had made a different choice would my life be different?  I really think I am a positive person, but carrying this weight is negative. I realized that when I start thinking of these things they make me sad.  I feel defeated like I am a loser.  The worse part is that some of my choices have effected other people. People I love and care about.  Your choices will most likely effect the people close to you, those who you really love.  I realized today that I beat myself up about these things.  I haven't forgiven myself.  The even harder part is that someone who my choices effect didn't forgive me either.  I can't change them.  I can only work on myself.  But it doesn't help when I'm beating myself up about it, and this person who is very close to me every now and again will also remind me of this mistake.  I love this person with all my heart, but I realize I can't continue to beat myself up about it nor can I allow them too either.  I decided that I would give them distance to work this out, so I can work myself out.  Sometime in life we have to separate ourselves from the situation or from the person to really work on what we know is important.  Especially in the pursuit of becoming a better person.  One of the hardest things in life is letting go.  I know I have to let go and let God.  I know I have to learn from my mistakes, because I will continue to make mistakes and often, hopefully not the same ones.  We are human and that means that no one is perfect, so mistakes are inevitable.  Einstein said a man who never failed, never tried anything new.  Today, I'm not going to focus on my past failures. I am going to push forward to making new mistakes and learning from them.  I'm not going to beat myself up about them and I am not going to allow anyone else to continue beating me up either.  As much as I love them I will have to let them happiness means bringing others happiness and vise versa.  If I can't be happy what help can I be?  My best friend once told me that God brings people in our lives, but we get to decide who stays, who goes, and what role they play.  I challenge you today to forgive yourself for past mistakes, failures, and faults:  But mostly I challenge you to forgive someone who has hurt you, forgive them for their mistakes also.  Life is short lets spend the rest of our time on this earth appreciating all the good things we've done.  Celebrating all the accomplishments we tend to over look. Let's spend time remembering all the good things and not focusing on the bad.  I will leave you with a song today.

Mark Schultz- He Will Carry Me.


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