Sunday, October 12, 2014

Day 37.  I'm late...I went out which is something that I rarely do.  And the funny thing is after dinner I wanted to dance and there was no where to go dancing.....Maybe, because it's a Sunday night?  It was strange being out.  I actually felt liberated and free.  I hadn't felt that way since probably college.  Their is a certain joy that comes from feeling free.  I felt like I could do anything.  When we arrived at the place to dance and only a few cars were in the parking lot I was like dang.  I thought at least they may have some good music on....nope!  Everything happens for a reason, probably just saved myself from humiliation and embarrassment!!!!

What's on my mind.  I was deceitful to someone today.  When I really think about it I don't know why I was.  I don't know why I wasn't honest and just told the truth.  I convinced myself that it wasn't dishonest it was just with-holding the truth.  I felt like for a time I wanted to be someone I'm not.  I wanted to be something that I am not.  I maybe thought that this person would like me less or be less interested if they knew the truth.  Anyway it goes, the truth is bound to come out sooner or later.  The challenge is to demonstrate integrity.  Be honest even when it means giving up or losing something you want.  For all the trouble it probably was not worth it anyway.....true friendship is being able to be yourself with that person and not feeling like you have to be different.  Again, most of the time it's our own negative perception creeping into our minds and making us feel insecure, not the other person's behaviors.  Today I will leave you with a verse.

Proverbs 19:1
Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.


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